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Thought for the day


Colin

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
When working - as a contractor - for the Postal Authorities in Australia (a government body) in the late 1990's I was given the job of arranging a National Conference of senior IT managers. It was planned to run for two days with those from other states staying overnight. For some of them it involved each way travel of up to 6 hours. Well it was impossible to get a consensus from all involved as to when to hold it there was alway at least one of the seven who would/could not agree on a date.

My manager (a long time government employee) came up with a solution that he implemented. He flew all 9 of them into Melbourne for a ONE day meeting that had the SOLE objective of setting the date for the TWO day meeting of the same group!

Result - decision NOT to hold the 2 day meeting. Government at work - not!
 

Colin

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
. I once worked for an organisation which appointed a Time and Motion work study manager (New post) who promptly called a number of meetings to include anyone who HE thought might have some input. When he asked my opinion on some particular element (Can't remember what) my reply was. "When we are meeting, by definition we are not working" I was not asked to any more meetings, and gradually attendance dropped off untill our T&M man had to do some work himself. I got a lot more done too
My response was not original I think it came from some management manual. .
 

timetraveller

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
I have found a total solution to the drop bear problem and this is to use an umbrella. The technique is not as one might think to ride the bike or walk with the said solution unfolded above ones head, Rather it is kept folded and with the pointed end erect above ones head. When the aggressive marsupial drops from a great height the trick is to ensure that the pointed end of the umbrella acts as a suppository. In the first instance this will surprise the marsupial. However, that is not the end of the story, If the creature then tries to back away at high speed the umbrella will open up and act as a wind break, thus slowing down the escape of said creature. Once the umbrella has unfurled one then has the upper hand. As stated, rearward retreat of the animal is severely curtailed but then if it tries to escape in a forwards direction its pace is somewhat slowed by it trying to drag the now extended implement through the bush. Once one has seen these aggressive creatures brought low after a few yards of trying to escape through the bush in a forwards direction it will be clear why this indigenous threat to life of upper class Brits in Oz will soon cease.
 

greg brillus

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
I've spoken recently to the local "Drop Bear" community out on my property and they inform me that they have since been advised to carry personal rain coats, snorkels, and fire sticks if they feel it necessary............. ;)
 

MartynG

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
1581309214464.png
Drop Bears!!

Do not trust all the messages - that Drop Bears are fake just may be a fake news !.
 

highbury731

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
I have found a total solution to the drop bear problem and this is to use an umbrella. The technique is not as one might think to ride the bike or walk with the said solution unfolded above ones head, Rather it is kept folded and with the pointed end erect above ones head. When the aggressive marsupial drops from a great height the trick is to ensure that the pointed end of the umbrella acts as a suppository. In the first instance this will surprise the marsupial. However, that is not the end of the story, If the creature then tries to back away at high speed the umbrella will open up and act as a wind break, thus slowing down the escape of said creature. Once the umbrella has unfurled one then has the upper hand. As stated, rearward retreat of the animal is severely curtailed but then if it tries to escape in a forwards direction its pace is somewhat slowed by it trying to drag the now extended implement through the bush. Once one has seen these aggressive creatures brought low after a few yards of trying to escape through the bush in a forwards direction it will be clear why this indigenous threat to life of upper class Brits in Oz will soon cease.
When an umbrella has been deployed as you suggest, it is also very effective when the marsupial attempts its usual form of attack. The umbrella acts much like an air brake, or perhaps a shuttle-cock. Instead of landing on the intended prey on its padded posterior, the wind resistance of the umbrella immediately inverts the drop-bear. As a result, the drop-bear misses the prey and lands on its head, thus disabling the bear.
Paul
 

Colin

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
This is an intergalactic newsflash from the planet OOOWAHN, in the Galaxy of FLOBBERGOB.

"Fellow Ooowhans, I have to tell you today, that we have still not discovered what wiped out the alien Earthlings. I can tell you, however, that they had the cleanest arses of any species yet investigated.

This news flash is brought to the intergalacticinternetwork, with the Compliments and Complements of
Messings Lou Rolls, and Juan Sheeto_O
 

peter holmes

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
That is quite thought provoking, of all the theories that have been put forward for the mass extinction of the dinosaurs, has a virus pandemic ever been one of them?
 

Colin

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
Here is a further intergalactic newsflash from the planet OOOWAHN in the galaxy of FLOBBERGOB

"Fellow Ooowahans, I have to tell you today, that we have made another discovery about the extinct Earthlings. Despite the cleanest arses of any species yet investigated, it appears that they did achieved the aim of polluting everything else they had contact with. A remarkable achievement in such a short time"

"I also have to tell you, that the intergalacticinternet of Messings Lou Rolls and Juan Sheet, has been severely reprimanded , by me, The Great Panjandrum, for excessive consumption. The fault lies with Lou Rolls, who is now restricted to one flash per week. Juan Sheet is still considered adequate, to flash whenever"

This newsflash is brought to you by Jan Sheet onlyo_O
 

peter le gros

Website User
VOC Member
Here is a further intergalactic newsflash from the planet OOOWAHN in the galaxy of FLOBBERGOB

"Fellow Ooowahans, I have to tell you today, that we have made another discovery about the extinct Earthlings. Despite the cleanest arses of any species yet investigated, it appears that they did achieved the aim of polluting everything else they had contact with. A remarkable achievement in such a short time"

"I also have to tell you, that the intergalacticinternet of Messings Lou Rolls and Juan Sheet, has been severely reprimanded , by me, The Great Panjandrum, for excessive consumption. The fault lies with Lou Rolls, who is now restricted to one flash per week. Juan Sheet is still considered adequate, to flash whenever"

This newsflash is brought to you by Jan Sheet onlyo_O
Apparently when one Earthling sneezes one hundred shit themselves!
 

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