• Welcome to the website of the Vincent H.R.D. Owners Club.

    Should you have any questions relating to the Vincent H.R.D. Owners Club, or Vincent H.R.D. motorcycles in general, please contact Graham Smith, Hon. Editor and Webmaster by calling 07977 001 025 or please CLICK HERE.

    You are unrecognised, and therefore, only have VERY restricted access to the many features of this website.

    If you have previously registered to use this forum, you should log in now. CLICK HERE.

    If you have never registered to use this website before, please CLICK HERE.

Thought for the day



bmetcalf

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
#4
She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitching post. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other. The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed," Hey, Old Woman, have you ever danced?"

The old woman looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... Never really wanted to."

A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said, "Well, you old bag, you're gonna dance now," and started shooting at the old woman's feet.

The old woman prospector -- not wanting to get her toe blown off -- started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds, too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels. The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman's hands, as she quietly said, "Son, have you ever kissed a mule's ass?"

The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, "No M'am... But... I've always wanted to."
 

highbury731

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
#10
An elderly man is having a drink in a bar. An extremely attractive 19-year-old woman comes in and sits down at the bar, a few places away from him. He is struck by her beauty, and he can't take his eyes off her.
After a while, the young woman goes over to him, looks him deeply in his eyes, and says in a sultry tone "I will do anything you would like. Anything you can imagine in your wildest dreams. It does not matter how extreme or unusual it is, I'm game. I want $100. I also have another condition"
Completely stunned at this turn of events, the old man asks what her other condition is. She replies "You have to tell me what it is that you want me to do in just three words."
The man takes a few seconds to consider the offer from the beautiful young woman, takes out his wallet and puts down ten $10 bills, and says "Paint my house"
Paul
 

bmetcalf

Well Known and Active Website User
VOC Member
#18
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Got any grapes?"

The bartender, confused, tells the duck no. The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns and asks, "Got any grapes?"

Again, the bartender tells him, "No -- the bar does not serve grapes, has never served grapes and, furthermore, will never serve grapes." The duck thanks him and leaves.

The next day, the duck returns, but before he can say anything, the bartender yells, "Listen, duck! This is a bar! We do not serve grapes! If you ask for grapes again, I will nail your stupid duck beak to the bar!"

The duck is silent for a moment, and then asks, "Got any nails?"

Confused, the bartender says no.

"Good!" says the duck. "Got any grapes?"
 


Latest Forum Threads

Top