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Some of Tommy Cooper's jokes

Tracey Tilley

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
"Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home."
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome".
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual".

So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said, "You've been promoted". And I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been promoted again".
And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said, "You're managing director".
And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said, "What happened to you?"
And I said, "I careered off the road".


I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.

I met this bloke with a didgeridoo and he was playing Dancing Queen on it. I thought, 'That's Aboriginal.'

I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, its P something T something R.
 

nkt267

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
Is there minimum number of those you have to know to live in Caerphilly?
If you admit to knowing any of those they throw you out of Caerphilly:D. Glass bottle,bottle glass.John
 

mr.hutch

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
Please enlighten me re. 'Glass bottle, bottle glass.'
It seems to have lost something in the translation, also I have led a very sheltered life which may be contributing to the problem.
Confused of Boxford.
 

Alan J

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
Please enlighten me re. 'Glass bottle, bottle glass.'
It seems to have lost something in the translation, also I have led a very sheltered life which may be contributing to the problem.
Confused of Boxford.
Never explain a joke to anyone south of Watford! :p :p
 

nkt267

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
John, it was one of his odd magic tricks using hollow tubes and a bottle and glass,you need to have seen it to appreciate it..John
 

mr.hutch

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
Never explain a joke to anyone south of Watford! :p :p

Watford is 51"39'09."08N
Boxford is 52"01'40."50N

according to the google people,

so there you have it. B is north of W.
I rest my case!

Peace and love at this time,
mr.hutch
(had some interesting rides in the snow on the outfit today) :)
 

Alan J

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
I really meant to say "south of the Wandle"-but that is a bit obscure!! [the river Wandle flows from Croydon to Battersea and into the Thames].@ weeks without a bike ride, I should get my "outfit" out!
 
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