So I said to my wife......

mr.hutch

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two tourists were driving through Wales at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped at a restaraunt for lunch and asked the waitress "before we order, could you settle an arguement for us, and pronounce where we are..... very slowly?" the waitress replied "sure, Burrr gurrr king!" :D

I love it !
I did think you had missed one 'l', but your spelling is quite perfect.

go carefuly mr hutch :)
 

bmetcalf

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two tourists were driving through Wales at Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwyllllantysiliogogoch they stopped at a restaraunt for lunch and asked the waitress "before we order, could you settle an arguement for us, and pronounce where we are..... very slowly?" the waitress replied "sure, Burrr gurrr king!" :D

Finally, one with some humo(u)r. I'm sure you won't let it happen again. :):)
 

Debbie Kemp

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Another bad joke :eek:)

Okay, I can no longer resist joining little Johnnie's gang:D..........

A young couple were riding their Comet down a narrow country lane when suddenly the man took a corner too quickly and ploughed into the back of a car that had pulled up in the ditch to mend a puncture.

Badly shaken, the couple took off their helmets to inspect the damage but the driver of the car was nowhere to be seen. Then 100 yards down the road, they spotted a very small man sitting cross-legged on the ground, chanting to himself.

"Excuse me", said the man, "would you happen to know where the driver of this car has gone?"

"He has gone to get help", replied the little man, "but don't go. I must thank you for setting me free. I am a genie and I was imprisoned in that car for many years but the crash has released me, so I can grant three wishes. One for each of you and the third for me."

Immediately the man said "I wish for a Black Shadow, I've always wanted a twin!"

"Then it will be yours," replied the genie.

"And I would like a house on millionaires' row," enthused the wife.

"Then, that too, will be yours." He continued, "now it is my turn. I would like to have my way with your wife. It is many years since I had a woman."

Appalled at the idea, but realising that this was the only way the man would get his Black Shadow, the man ordered his wife to get into the back seat of the car and get down to business.

Some minutes later, the genie sat back with a satisfied smile on his face and said, "By the way, how old is your husband?"

"Thirty-three," she replied, looking puzzled.

"Fancy that! Thirty-three and he still believes in genies!"
 

Albervin

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Knock Knock

Is there any intelligent life out there? Something maybe post Frankie Howerd? From "Up Pompeii"; While searching for lost slaves a detachment of Centurions were instructed "To run with Mucus":D We're doomed......(broad Scottish accent).
 

timetraveller

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Comet-Trike 600's contribution above reminds me of the story about the atheist who was walking through the forest one day marvelling at the 100s of square miles of trees, the rivers and the distant mountains covered in snow. As he walked along on a rich carpet of pine needles he thought that he heard a noise behind him and paused, listened but could hear nothing and so continued his walk. Shortly after he again heard a noise and this time, although faint there was no doubt it was real. He increased his pace from a leisurely stroll to a fast walk and still the noise kept up with him. He walked faster and faster and eventually broke into a run. Glancing over his shoulder he saw an enormous bear galloping down the track behind him. Suddenly he stumbled and the bear took an enormous leap. Oh God! the atheist screamed and suddenly everything froze. A huge voice echoed through the woods; 'Oh so you do believe after all do you?' said the voice. ' Become a Christian and I will save you.' This put the long term atheist into a quandary and he thought fast as he couldn't face up to becoming a Christian after years of disbelief. Suddenly inspiration hit him. 'OK' he said, ' I know, make the bear a Christian.' Suddenly everything came back to life, the bear completed his leap through the air, landed on the atheist back and pinned him to the floor with one hind paw. Slowly the bear put his paws together and said 'For what I am about to receive.....'
 

Comet

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okay, okay one for the ladies so they don't get left out.
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?

marry him.

yeah I didn't get it..
 
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