doctor doctor

C

Comet

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
doctor, doctor, with all the excitement of Christmas I can't sleep.

try sleeping on the edge of your bed, you'll soon drop off.
 
T

Tom Gaynor

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
Doctor, doctor

Doctor: I think I'm a pair of curtains.
Pull yourself together, man!

Doctor, I think I'm a billiard ball!
I don't care. Get to the end of the queue.

(Tom)
 
nkt267

nkt267

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
Golfer.
Doctor I'm having trouble when I play Golf..On the first 9 I feel like a Wigwam and on the second 9 I feel like a marquee.

Doctor.Your trouble is you're 2 tense. John
 
Howard

Howard

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
Doctor : Go to the window and stick your tongue out.

Patient : Is the light better over there?

Doctor : No. I just don't like the guy across the road!

Tommy Cooper - Gone but not forgotten.

H :D
 
M

mr.hutch

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
As this is the season to be 'jolly', would not the five line stanza of a Limeric or two be out of order?
A long time favourite is:-

On the breasts of a barmaid from Sale,
was written the price of the ale,
and on her behind,
for the sake of the blind,
the same thing was written in braile.







Although, having looked at what I have just typed,
I feel that in these politically correct times, this may, be considered unacceptable, so please ignore, after reading if you wish and accept my apology.

go carefully mr.hutch :)
 
C

Comet

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
Father Christmas was broken one Christmas Eve. He managed to flag down a passing motorist and ask " can you help me fix my sledge?" the motorist apologised saying "I'm not a mechanic, I'm a chiropodist". "Oh" said santa "well could you give me a toe?"

:D:D
It's the way I spell 'em
 
Rapide

Rapide

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
Patient: Doc, will I be able to read with these glasses?
Doc: You sure will.
Patient: That's great! I never could read before.
 
T

Tom Gaynor

Well Known and Active Forum User
VOC Member
Knock, knock

Who's there?
He says he's the invisible man.
Tell him I can't see him.

Who's there?
The garbage man.
Tell him we don't want any.

both courtesy Marx Brothers.

Cleanish limericks? Now THERE'S a challenge.

Even for a scrap-man from Scunthorpe. (Just testing, Graham...)

Tom
 
Top