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A Pub

bmetcalf

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
VOC Member
Four old guys are walking down a street in Houma, LA. They turn a corner and see a sign that says, “Old Biker' Bar - all drinks 10 cents.”

They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true.

The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?"

The bar looks fully-stocked, so each of the four orders a JD, neat.

In short order, the bartender serves up the four shots and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please."

The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment and then look at each other.

They can't believe their good luck.

They pay the 40 cents, finish their drinks, and order another round.

Again, the bartender pours four shots of JD, and again, the bartender says, "That's 40 cents, please."

They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity is more than they can stand.

They have each had two drinks apiece and they have spent less than a dollar.

Finally one of the guy’s says, "How can you afford to serve bourbon as good as this for a dime a drink?"

"I'm a retired motorcycle racer from Tulsa," the bartender replies, "And I always wanted to own a bar. Last year, I hit the Lottery jackpot for $225 million and bought this place. Every drink costs a dime -- wine, liquor, beer, it's all the same."

"Wow!!! That's quite a story," says one of guys.

The four of them sipped their drinks, they couldn't help but notice seven other guys at the end of the bar who didn't have drinks in front of them, and hadn't ordered anything the whole time they were there.

One guy gestures at the seven at the end of the bar without drinks and asks the bartender, "What's with them?"

The bartender says, "Oh, they're all Vincent riders. They're waiting for Happy Hour, when drinks are half price..."
 

grahamsharrock

Well Known and Active Forum Website User
Non-VOC Member
RuralAustralian ComputerTerminology
A little bit of Aussie culcha
LOG ON: Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter

LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the
Barbie

MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the
Barbie

DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute


HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold stubbies


KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys


WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold


SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season


BYTE: What mozzies do


MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do


CHIP: A pub snack


MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips

MODEM: What you did to the lawns
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps

SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster

HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart

MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed


MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up


WEB: What spiders make


WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the verandah


SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won't go


CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won't go

YAHOO: What you say when the Ute starts
UPGRADE: A steep hill
SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch

MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counterlunch


USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things


NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net

INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover a hole in the net

ONLINE: Where you hang the washing


OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs
aren't strong enough

Cheers
Graham


 
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